I hate Valentine's Day

I have no problem admitting it. I hate Valentine's Day. Had my haircut today and my hairstylist and I were discussing the whole being single on Valentine's Day thing. He said that it makes people who are single feel even more alone. Yep, it does. So, that ate on me all day. When I went grocery shopping, I bought cake. 4 slices of cake. grrrr. The cake part was good, but the frosting was nasty. I ate the cake -- all 4 slices, but tried to not eat the frosting. It worked out because the cake would pull away from the frosting. However, I still didn't need to be eating cake. I kept myself from buying ice cream. That was hard.

What was I feeling? I was feeling "poor me" because I don't have anyone that thinks I'm special. Meaning a male person. Then, I remind myself I don't want a male person in my life and I'm mad at myself for feeling bad that I don't have someone in my life. AHHHHH! I guess I also felt like I deserved something sweet because it was Valentine's Day. I have no idea what it's doing to my BG. I didn't take my fasting BG this morning, so I have no idea where I started.

On the other hand, I did buy good food for this week. I looked through one of my diabetic cookbooks and picked out a couple of recipes to try. We'll see how it goes.

I'm frustrated still -- maybe embarrassed is better -- that I'm diabetic. I hate that I have to be careful and that I have to eat and that I have to take drugs. I guess all those years of bingeing(?) and then not eating really toasted me. Food has always been my worst enemy and my best friend. However, it's like that saying goes "with friends like that, who needs enemies".