No, not high like drugs high. High as in my BG is high. Ugh. Not obnoxiously so, but still high. Doesn't seem like I can get it straightened out. I've been doing pretty well with not eating sweets. When I go to Chick-Fil-A, I so badly want a brownie, but I choose not to have one. It's not so hard, because I know I feel crappy when I have sugar.
I now need to concentrate on not eating fried foods. That doesn't help my BG at all either. Typically, fried foods are high in carbs too -- simple carbs that turn to sugar quickly and up my BG.
I need to learn how to cook. I've bought several diabetic cookbooks.
About the fear that I spoke about in the last entry, I've found that I have a gargantuan amount of it. I'm totally shocked at how fearful I am of so many things. Leaving my house is one of them. I hate leaving my house, particularly at night. It stems from coming home from work as a teenager after walking home (just over a mile) at night and there not being anyone in the house and the house being dark. I remember being scared and having to nearly physically push down the fear inside myself. It was creepy to go home to any empty, dark house. It was creepy walking home after 9:00 pm too. Even getting off at 6:00 pm in the winter was creepy -- and cold. I would just turn the fear of coming home inside and bury it. Sugar seemed to help me put a sealant on the top of the fear to try to keep it inside and buried, away from my consciousness.
Now that I'm trying to stay away from sugar, the fear doesn't have anything to keep it from pushing to the surface and forcing my consciousness to face it for the first time in 30 years. Amazing.
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